Attention on Connection
There’s a phrase that keeps coming up as I study liberty horsemanship: “Trainer’s Mind.” What is Trainer’s Mind? The Resnick Method describes Trainer’s Mind as neglecting to focus on connection because we are distracted by performance. I’m quite familiar with the feeling of being distracted by performance. When working with horses, partner dancing, yoga, and even spending time with friends, I catch myself paying attention to how something looks instead of how it feels. No matter the setting, the result is unsatisfying.
Recently I caught myself in Trainer’s Mind with the horses when I was struggling with an exercise called 5 Piles of Hay. As the name implies, it involves 5 piles of hay, arranged in a circle. I was attempting to ask the horse to leave pile 1, pass pile 2, and go straight to pile 3. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get the horse to pass pile 2 without detouring for a drive-by snack. The harder I pushed, the more frustrated both the horse and I became. Eventually, I realized I’d fallen into Trainer’s Mind and completely forgotten the true purpose of the exercise. It isn’t really about the hay, but about building a connection with the horse.
To stay out of Trainer’s Mind and keep my attention on connection, I need to let go of expectations and agendas. I’m doing this by practicing mindfulness. One of my favorite mindfulness tools, Sam Harris’ Waking up App, reminded me that “Most of life is an effort to change what is into what should be. But the paradox is that the best way to do that is often to truly accept what is.” By letting go of what should be in favor of what is, I can more easily focus on building a bond with the horse.
The bond is essential for working with horses at liberty. Since we don’t use halters or lead ropes, our connection is the only “tack.” One of the fastest ways to build or regain a bond is to find the “entry point of connection.” Carolyn Resnick finds it by asking: “What’s the easiest and safest thing I could do with a horse, that I am not afraid to do, and will give me a YES from the horse?” Knowing the answer to this crucial question is a matter of knowing the horse, another great reason to spend quality time with our horses!
I found my entry point of connection with the drive-by-snacker by going back to exercises we had done previously that got a “Yes!” from the horse. At first, I heard a voice in my head complaining about going backward, but I was able to recognize this voice as Trainer’s Mind. As long as I’m moving toward connection, I’m progressing. After about a week of practicing the previous exercises, our relationship blossomed. Not only did the horse easily pass by piles of hay, he even started offering more advanced behaviors all because we’d refocused our attention on connection.
I’m hoping the practice of releasing performance will permeate my life outside of the pasture. I feel every aspect of my life is more authentic and fulfilling when I can let my expectations drop away, be present with what is, and open to opportunities for connection. Is there a part of your life where you feel Trainer’s Mind creeping in? How do you reset your mindset and prioritize authentic connection over performance when you notice this happening? Let me know on Instagram, Facebook, or LinkedIn. May the horse be with you, always!
